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Dome-Home Sales Somehow Manage To Dip Even Lower

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Dome-Home Sales Somehow Manage To Dip Even Lower

AUGUSTA, ME—Despite already negligible figures, sales of geodesic-dome dwellings somehow managed to drop even further in the second quarter of 2001, Alternative Homes magazine reported Tuesday. "Last year, I sold just one dome, to some hippie who'd inherited $80,000," Augusta dome-home-kit salesman Bruce Wyner said. "I figured, hey, it's his money." Geodesic domes are currently the worst-selling alternative dwelling in the U.S., followed closely by the yurt.

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