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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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DomeFacts: The Truly Disgusting Career Of Kwame Brown

The Minnesota Timberwolves lost the Kwame Brown Lottery, meaning they will be forced to sign Kwame to a contract this offseason, despite his horrible play and even worse attitude. Here are some DomeFacts about Kwame to put the T-Wolves' misery in perspective:

  • He shot 33.7% from the free throw line last season on 98 attempts. Take a second to think about how bad that is.
  • In his ten seasons in the league, not a single Kwame Brown jersey has been sold, not even as a joke.
  • After unleashing Kwame on the league by selecting him first overall in the 2001 NBA Draft, Michael Jordan felt so guilty that he made an ill-advised second return to the league in a valiant attempt to shatter Kwame's confidence and drive him from the sport forever.
  • Would have done the same thing LeBron did.
  • Scouts marvel at his ability to jog to midcourt and stand there on fastbreaks instead of hustling to play defense.
  • Plants wither and die when he touches them.

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