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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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DomeFacts: The Truly Disgusting Career Of Kwame Brown

The Minnesota Timberwolves lost the Kwame Brown Lottery, meaning they will be forced to sign Kwame to a contract this offseason, despite his horrible play and even worse attitude. Here are some DomeFacts about Kwame to put the T-Wolves' misery in perspective:

  • He shot 33.7% from the free throw line last season on 98 attempts. Take a second to think about how bad that is.
  • In his ten seasons in the league, not a single Kwame Brown jersey has been sold, not even as a joke.
  • After unleashing Kwame on the league by selecting him first overall in the 2001 NBA Draft, Michael Jordan felt so guilty that he made an ill-advised second return to the league in a valiant attempt to shatter Kwame's confidence and drive him from the sport forever.
  • Would have done the same thing LeBron did.
  • Scouts marvel at his ability to jog to midcourt and stand there on fastbreaks instead of hustling to play defense.
  • Plants wither and die when he touches them.
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