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Police Find Super-Sharp Buck Knife

'It's The Kind With A Blade That Locks In Place,' Says Law Enforcement Spokesperson

Warning residents that the blade was “super deadly” and “badass,” city police officials held a press conference Wednesday to announce that they had found a really cool wooden-handled Buck-brand pocketknife on the street.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Don Imus Returns To Airwaves For One Last 'Nappy-Headed Hos' Remark

NEW YORK—Don Imus, who was fired from his WFAN morning show in April after calling members of the Rutgers' women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos," returned to the airwaves Monday, citing a deep personal need to make one final "nappy-headed hos" comment. "I have endured eight long months of criticism, shame, and penance, but it will all have been worth it if I get opportunity to once again call a group of female African-American athletes 'nappy-headed hos' for all the world to hear," Imus said on his radio program Monday morning. "After all, calling people 'nappy-headed hos' is why I got into the radio business in the first place." Imus added that, if listeners thought the first time he said "nappy-headed hos" on the air was racially insensitive, they should really tune in tomorrow at around 8:35 a.m.

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