Donut-Shaped Thing In Kitchen Junk Drawer Has No Discernible Purpose Whatsoever

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon

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Donut-Shaped Thing In Kitchen Junk Drawer Has No Discernible Purpose Whatsoever

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Homeowner Gilbert Voss will be damned if he knows what that donut-shaped plastic thing in his kitchen junk drawer is for, it was reported Monday. "It looks like it goes in a tape dispenser or something," Voss said. "But that doesn't explain the little bumps." Voss' wife Helen speculated that the object may have fallen out of her sewing kit, but is similarly baffled by its function. "I guess you could put threads through the little holes around the rim," she said, "but then what would you do with it?"