Donut Shop's Mission Statement Awfully Ambitious

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Vol 48 Issue 14

Coast Guard Sinks Vacant Ship

The U.S. Coast Guard used cannon fire to sink the 164-foot Ryou-Un Maru, a Japanese "ghost ship" set adrift by the tsunami last year.

Cambodian Antiquity To Be Seized

FBI agents moved to impound a statue from the auction house Sotheby's after Cambodian officials claimed it was looted from an ancient Khmer temple.

Phil Grayson

Phil Grayson celebrated 15 years of manning the old glory hole in the South Royalton Rest Area men’s room.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Late Night

Donut Shop's Mission Statement Awfully Ambitious

FREEHOLD, NJ—Patrons at Dotty's Donuts on Cranston Avenue agree that the mission statement posted near the shop's entrance seems overly ambitious. "It said, 'At Dotty's, our goal is to reinvent the morning,'" Dotty's patron Ken Mentilli said. "'Dotty's Donuts are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and a ray of light into your soul.' That seems like a tall order for a donut shop." Mentilli added that Dotty's may not be able to deliver on its promise to "change the world, one fresh-baked bear claw at a time."

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