Drought-Ravaged NYC Institutes Alternate-Side-Of-Street Firefighting

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Drought-Ravaged NYC Institutes Alternate-Side-Of-Street Firefighting

NEW YORK— Suffering from months of drought, New York City instituted alternate-side-of-the-street firefighting Monday. "On odd-numbered days, even-numbered buildings are not permitted to catch fire," Mayor Michael Bloomberg said at a press conference. "For those who fail to comply, we will not be able to put out your fire until the following morning. Your kind cooperation will help conserve water resources throughout the New York area."