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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Duke Doing Something Indicates College Basketball Season Either Starting, Ending, Or Ongoing

DURHAM, NC—The sudden appearance of photos of Duke basketball players in national newspapers—as well as video of the school's marching band and Dick Vitale talking about the team on television—has led the nation to believe that something is currently happening with Duke basketball, arousing suspicions that the 2010-11 NCAA men's basketball season has either just begun, is about to begin, or has just ended. "I was flipping through USA Today and saw a picture of Coach K in his Duke collared shirt, not his Team USA collared shirt, so I think something is going on college-basketball-wise," Ohio resident Greg Evans told reporters. "In the picture he was yelling at young men who appeared to be Blue Devils players. Maybe it was a season preview. Or maybe it was a midseason report. Maybe it's March Madness." Evans added that similar things were probably happening at the University of North Carolina.

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