Dunbar Family Forced To Discontinue Print Edition Of Christmas Newsletter

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 49

Chad Greene and Danielle Faye

Chad Greene and Danielle Faye were married before friends and family this weekend, but as of press time it was not known if the ceremony was beautiful.

Oscar Mayer Unveils New Weiner Drone

The 15-year-old Duchess of McComb, Alabama announces her pregnancy, a 38-year-old little boy posts a picture of a fast car he likes on Facebook, and the nation's hardass cops finally find time to play games.

Pot, Gay Marriage Now Legal In Washington

Same-sex marriage licenses became available in Washington state yesterday at 12:01 a.m., and at the same time, a voter-backed law decriminalizing the recreational use of marijuana took effect.

Chris Christie Dreaming About 72-Inch Springsteen Sub

TRENTON, NJ—Slowly licking his lips and salivating as he indulged his imagination, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly spent most of Friday afternoon alone in his office daydreaming about a mouthwatering 72-inch Springsteen sub.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Dunbar Family Forced To Discontinue Print Edition Of Christmas Newsletter

PAULLINA, IA—In an e-mail to readers on Monday, editors of the Dunbar Family Annual Christmas Update announced that due to logistical constraints, they had decided to cease print publication of the newsletter, which will move to a web-only distribution model. “Amid a rapidly changing Christmas-letter landscape, the printed word has become a less effective way to keep you informed about Dunbar family affairs,” wrote editor-in-chief Phyllis Dunbar, who assured a readership of more than 60 friends and relatives that the December bulletin would remain the most reliable source for updates on Nathan’s progress in school, pet acquisitions and deaths, and the family’s travel plans. “Even as we move to expand our online presence, we have not forgotten our core principles of journalistic integrity and holiday cheer. We are very proud of our digital edition, and we think you will like it too.” At press time, sources had confirmed that as part of their transition to the digital age, the Dunbars would be eliminating 37 jobs.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More