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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Dunk Contest No Longer A Big Deal Now That 85 Percent Of Populace Can Dunk

LOS ANGELES—The NBA's annual Slam Dunk Contest, which rose to prominence with the high-flying talents of players like Michael Jordan, Dominique Wilkins, and Spud Webb, has failed to garner much interest this year due to the fact that an overwhelming majority of the U.S. population has the ability to dunk, sources confirmed Monday. "Yeah, I'm not gonna watch that, because me and the guys I work with could pretty much have our own dunk contest if we wanted to," said 43-year-old postal employee Frank Palmer, who then did four 360-degree dunks and several Jordanesque kiss-the-rim slams on an NBA regulation-height basketball hoop. "My dad and I still dunk the ball around every now and then." League sources confirmed that within the next 75 years every NBA player and U.S. citizen will be able to play defense.

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