PLANO, TX—The recently released Joe Somebody DVD attempts to pass off "language options" and "scene selection" as special features, an unhappy buyer reported Monday. "What the hell?" said Plano, TX, resident Bill Vinson, who was hoping for never-before-seen outtakes or director's commentary. "While they're at it, why don't they boast that it features 'complete credits' and a special 'pause option'? Christ."