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Dwarf Actor Assured Guest Spot On 'How I Met Your Mother' Will Not Be Demeaning

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Dwarf Actor Assured Guest Spot On 'How I Met Your Mother' Will Not Be Demeaning

LOS ANGELES—After being cast in an episode of the sitcom How I Met Your Mother, 4-foot, 6-inch-tall actor Craig Holsapple was assured Monday that the role would treat his height matter-of-factly and not in any way that would be degrading. "You'll be playing a doctor, all very professional and respectable, and after Neil Patrick Harris—who is your patient, and he's your patient because he wants the best doctor, mind you—anyway, after Neil says something about the tall blond nurse, you get angry at him because she's your wife," executive producer Carter Bays told Holsapple, who remained absolutely silent throughout the meeting. "Trust me, it has nothing to do with your height. The part pays $1,800." Holsapple was also assured that "normal-size" doctors were thrown through windows all the time and that, in any case, "a tiny little mannequin" would be used for that shot.

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