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The Week In Sports

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.
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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name. “All right, let’s go, bird guys,” said Howard, who reportedly glanced furtively toward his teammates to gauge their reaction to one of his many wild guesses. “Come on, Red Beaks! Nobody messes with the, you know, Crimson Crows.” At press time, Howard was reportedly imploring his teammates to dig deep and think about all their fans watching back in Georgia City.

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