Dwight Howard Makes Talking Look Almost Effortless During Lakers Press Conference

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Vol 48 Issue 44

Natalie Blasi

After realizing no one else was going to step up, Natalie Blasi assumed the role of the person who lets everyone in the post office line know how long they’ve all been waiting.
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Dwight Howard Makes Talking Look Almost Effortless During Lakers Press Conference

LOS ANGELES—Following a team practice Friday, sources confirmed that new Lakers center Dwight Howard gave an inspiring press conference performance in which he made talking look practically effortless. “He was running his mouth better than ever out there,” said Los Angeles Times reporter Helene Elliott, adding that Howard is “just a total natural” when it comes to incessantly rambling about winning NBA championships. “Having spent so much time out injured, everyone was a little worried that Dwight might not be able to blather on and on at the same level he once did, but he silenced any of those concerns right away with a few arrogant and self-involved comments. His mouth was moving so fluidly that it was like he wasn’t even trying. It was amazing to watch.” At press time, Howard was preparing for Tuesday night’s opening-season press conference by practicing forced smiles and fake laughter in front of a locker-room mirror.

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