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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Dwight Howard Makes Talking Look Almost Effortless During Lakers Press Conference

LOS ANGELES—Following a team practice Friday, sources confirmed that new Lakers center Dwight Howard gave an inspiring press conference performance in which he made talking look practically effortless. “He was running his mouth better than ever out there,” said Los Angeles Times reporter Helene Elliott, adding that Howard is “just a total natural” when it comes to incessantly rambling about winning NBA championships. “Having spent so much time out injured, everyone was a little worried that Dwight might not be able to blather on and on at the same level he once did, but he silenced any of those concerns right away with a few arrogant and self-involved comments. His mouth was moving so fluidly that it was like he wasn’t even trying. It was amazing to watch.” At press time, Howard was preparing for Tuesday night’s opening-season press conference by practicing forced smiles and fake laughter in front of a locker-room mirror.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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