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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
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Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Rushes Out Of Summer Class To Make Court Hearing

BOSTON—After hurriedly gathering papers from his desk and giving a quick nod to his professor, Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev rushed out of his summer engineering class at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth this morning to make his arraignment in U.S. District Court, sources reported. “Shit, I already missed two Loop buses and the next one isn’t for 15 minutes—I’m going to be so late,” the 19-year-old terror suspect told classmates on his way out, noting that because he left his UMass Pass at his dorm, he would have to rifle through his backpack for some change while running to the bus stop. “The good news is that I’m only missing half a lecture, so as I long as I get notes from someone it should be fine. Plus, this class is pass/fail anyway.” At press time, sources were reporting that upon arriving at the courthouse, Tsarnaev apologized to the judge for his tardiness and explained that he had usually gotten rides from his brother.

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