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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Eagles Concerned By Nick Foles Asking About Best Ways To Tear ACL

PHILADELPHIA—According to team sources, members of the Philadelphia Eagles’ staff were “incredibly troubled” Friday after new starting quarterback Nick Foles began asking about the most effective ways to tear an ACL. “I was a little confused when out of the blue Nick asks me about the best way to suffer a serious knee injury, but I became really concerned when he asked if there’s a particular popping sound to listen for when the ACL snaps,” said Eagles head athletic trainer Rick Burkholder, adding that the rookie quarterback asked him several times to physically demonstrate the precise twisting motion required to “totally rip the ligament to shreds.” “The whole time he kept saying he was just curious to learn about the body, but then he asked if there was an easy way to also tear the PCL and MCL at the same time, and specifically whether that would sideline a football player for at least a couple months. It was all very worrying.” At press time, a smiling Foles was reportedly being carted off the team’s practice field.

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