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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Early Humans Finally Drunk Enough To Invent Dancing

Prominent ethnochoreologists now believe that roughly 20,000 years ago, early humans finally consumed an amount of fermented fruits and vegetables staggering enough to develop the impulsive series of rhythmic movements known today as dancing. "While human beings had experimented with rudimentary forms of shimmying and gyration as early as the Neanderthal period, it was not until they were able to reach critical levels of utter inebriation that early cultures finally began to let their hair down and really cut loose," said Yu Wei Lin of the Beijing Institute of Dance Studies. "In fact, we now believe that alcohol-fueled revelry paralleled and probably influenced the practice of the ill-advised hookup, the rambling apology for the previous night's behavior, and poetry." Lin also said that exciting new evidence indicates that a prehistoric "Electric Slide" was practiced in Tibet millennia before the invention of electricity.

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