CINCINNATI—Unaware that it will soon be regarded by his managers as an unnecessary drain on the company’s bottom line, local software engineer Rob Lofland reportedly celebrated a raise Thursday that his employer will eventually use to justify firing him.
HELENA, MT—Saying the extra bit of kindling material couldn't have come at a better time, 43-year-old school teacher Tim Donaldson received his $618 rebate check from the Internal Revenue Service Tuesday, and then immediately burned it to provide warmth for his wife and two sons. "It gets pretty cold here at night," said Donaldson, adding that with 75 percent of his take-home pay going toward car and mortgage payments, his children's schooling, and his wife's medical bills, the rare opportunity to sleep in a warm house for a night was much appreciated. "I just want to thank the government for sending such a large check. It burned for quite a while." Donaldson, who could not afford matches or fuel to light the check, said he made do by placing the envelope's clear plastic address window at an angle underneath the sun to spark the initial flame, which his family then huddled around until they fell asleep.