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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Ed Reed

Ravens Free Safety

Strength: One of last few remaining ball hawks in United States; Highly prepared player who constantly studies film to memorize an opposing team’s color schemes; Lures quarterbacks into throwing interceptions by loudly shouting, “I’m wide open”

Weakness: Always feels guilty after catching a ball he knows wasn’t meant for him; Still winded from 108-yard interception return in 2008; Ability to backpedal really fast is really a completely useless talent in every other walk of life

Biggest Fine: $250,000 for helmet-to-helmet hit on NFL Vice President of Operations Eric Grubman

Enjoys: Recording tackles in spare time at home studio

Training Regimen: Works with interception-throwing machine during training camp scrimmages

NEXT: Joe Flacco

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