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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Egyptian Woman Wishes Screaming Protester Husband Would Go Bonkers For Her Once In A While

CAIRO—Sighing dejectedly Thursday morning as she watched her screaming husband depart for yet another massive anti-American protest in Tahrir Square, local woman Samira Khalil told reporters that she wished the hysterical man would go completely and utterly berserk for her once in a while. “Considering he spends all day unleashing a violent messianic fervor against our enemies, you’d think he could bring some of that same hysterical passion back to the bedroom sometimes,” said Khalil, adding that every time they’re about to get get hot and heavy in the sack, her husband’s mind wanders off to thoughts of jihad and fatwa. “As soon as he hears about a depiction of Muhammad, or some other brazenly evil work of the infidel, there’s this smoldering gleam in his eyes. But he never looks at me like that anymore.” Khalil added that when her husband returned home that night, she would try desecrating a Quran right in front of him to “get him all hot and bothered.”

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