Elderly Man Skipping Work Uses 'Dead Grandson' Excuse Again

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Vol 45 Issue 24

Chatter Down 10 Percent

NEW YORK—The usage of common baseball chatter, including phrases like "Heybattabatta" and "Swingbattabatta," is down among teams at all...
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Elderly Man Skipping Work Uses 'Dead Grandson' Excuse Again

SARATOGA, FL—Arousing the suspicions of his boss, senior fry-cook Harold Mason, 72, cited the death of yet another grandchild in order to leave work early Thursday. Records showed that Mason has already missed 12 days of work this year, six of which were marked as sick days, and the remainder as funeral services for his late grandchildren, Johnny, Timmy, Susie, Bobby, Ricky, Johnny, and Harold, Jr. "I'm beginning to think he just likes taking a long weekend," said manager Jason Holmes, adding that the Korean War veteran's decedents have a way of dying on inventory days. "I don't know who he spends his time off with, anyway. His wife died last year on his birthday." Holmes went on to say that if Mason doesn't start taking his job at Sonic seriously, he will probably be demoted back to roller-skate waiter.

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