adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Eli Manning Asks Peyton If He Can Crash At His Place

INDIANAPOLIS—Pointing out that Peyton has a big house in Indianapolis and that they never hang out together anymore, Eli Manning approached his brother Friday to ask if he could crash at his place when he's in town for the Super Bowl. "C'mon, man, I can just stay on the couch if the spare bedroom is really full of stuff," a brotherly e-mail from the Giants quarterback read in part. "C'mon, it'll be fun." Although Peyton Manning has reportedly not yet given Eli a definite answer, in his initial replies he has written, "I dunno, man, my place isn't really all THAT big," and "Oh, yeah, just remembered my dad is gonna be staying with me that week, so maybe no."

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close