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Eli Manning Buys Silly Hat To Make Himself Feel Better

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Eli Manning Buys Silly Hat To Make Himself Feel Better

NEW YORK—Following a demoralizing 14-28 loss to the Redskins Sunday in which he threw an interception and no touchdowns, Giants quarterback Eli Manning attempted to cheer himself up with the purchase of an oversized green leprechaun-style top hat. “I like it. It makes me feel better,” Manning told reporters while wearing the large, dopey hat that reportedly cost $24.99 at a local Spencer Gifts. “I knew when I was sacked for a fourth time that it was going to be a hat day. This one made me laugh the most when I saw it, but the hat that looked like a traffic cone was funny too. I’m pretty sure I already have that one, though.” According to sources close to the family, Manning’s father yelled at him for wasting his money on yet another silly hat.

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