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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Eli Manning Buys Silly Hat To Make Himself Feel Better

NEW YORK—Following a demoralizing 14-28 loss to the Redskins Sunday in which he threw an interception and no touchdowns, Giants quarterback Eli Manning attempted to cheer himself up with the purchase of an oversized green leprechaun-style top hat. “I like it. It makes me feel better,” Manning told reporters while wearing the large, dopey hat that reportedly cost $24.99 at a local Spencer Gifts. “I knew when I was sacked for a fourth time that it was going to be a hat day. This one made me laugh the most when I saw it, but the hat that looked like a traffic cone was funny too. I’m pretty sure I already have that one, though.” According to sources close to the family, Manning’s father yelled at him for wasting his money on yet another silly hat.

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