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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Eli Manning Throws Big-Boy Touchdown

FOXBOROUGH, MA—Trailing in the final seconds of last Sunday's game against New England, New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning, 30, stunned the Patriots by throwing a big-boy touchdown to clinch a victory. "I did it! I did it!" a jubilant Manning said after the win, adding several times that he threw the big-boy touchdown all by himself "without help from anybody in the whole wide world." "Did you see me? Did you see me throw the ball to my friend in the touchdown?" A day later, Eli's older brother Peyton confirmed that he did in fact see the play, and yes, Eli is a big boy who will grow up and be big and strong like his brother.

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