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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Eliminated Canucks Excited To Spend Time With Ice Families

VANCOUVER—Though disappointed to exit the Stanley Cup playoffs in the first round, Vancouver Canucks players and coaches told reporters on Monday that they looked forward to spending quality time with their ice families this offseason. “It’s time for us to put this season behind us and return home to be with our ice loved ones,” said Canucks goaltender Roberto Luongo, who mentioned that it had been months since he’d kissed his ice baby or taken his ice daughter out to a glacier. “No one likes losing, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to catch up with my ice mom and my ice dad. They’ve been away in the freezer so long.” Luongo told reporters that he also had been craving a frosty slice of his ice mom’s triple icicle cake.

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