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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Elizabeth Taylor Watches Cleopatra Alone In Dark

LOS ANGELES–Sitting alone in a darkened screening room in her secluded mansion atop the Hollywood Hills, actress Elizabeth Taylor watched Cleopatra, the 1963 epic starring herself and Richard Burton. "I was the greatest of them all," said Taylor, gazing upon her younger self as the queen of the Nile. "In one week, I received 17,000 fan letters. Men bribed my hairdresser to get a lock of my hair. There was a maharajah who came all the way from India to beg one of my silk stockings. Later he strangled himself with it!" After she finished watching the film, Taylor informed its director, Joseph Mankiewicz, who died in 1993, that she was ready for her close-up.

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