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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Elmo Admits He's Uncomfortable Working With Gay Puppeteer

NEW YORK—While stressing that he “in no way discriminates against or dislikes homosexuals,” Sesame Street star Elmo admitted to reporters Wednesday that he is “no longer comfortable” working with his now openly gay puppeteer, Kevin Clash. “While Elmo respects Mr. Clash’s decision to come out as a gay man, it does make Elmo somewhat uneasy,” said the 26-year-old furry puppet, adding that Clash’s sexuality “conflicts with [his] personal and religious beliefs.” “Elmo simply does not agree with the gay lifestyle, and given the unique puppet-puppeteer relationship, Elmo believes that having daily physical contact with Mr. Clash as part of Elmo’s employment is now inappropriate.” At press time, Elmo had submitted an official request to the Sesame Workshop to be transferred to a different puppeteer.

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