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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Elton John Wows Mother Theresa Funeral Crowd With 'The Bitch Is Back"

CALCUTTA—Over 12,000 mourners at Saturday's funeral for Mother Teresa were treated to a performance of "The Bitch Is Back" by Elton John. The delighted mourners, clapping their hands and swaying from side-to-side in time with the song's pounding, rollicking barrelhouse piano, joined John in singing the song's refrain, "Bitch, bitch / The bitch is back," dozens of times, bringing the performance to over 12 minutes. "This is the perfect tribute to Mother Teresa," said Sister Nirmala, Mother Teresa's successor as leader of the Missionaries of Charity Order. "The bitch is indeed back with God." John, who sat next to Princess Diana at Gianni Versace's funeral and sat next to Mother Teresa at Princess Diana's funeral, was seated next to former Beatle George Harrison at Mother Teresa's funeral, fueling speculation that Harrison will perish next Tuesday in a fiery helicopter crash.

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