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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Embarrassed Catcher Not Sure What He Came To Mound For

MIAMI—Miami Marlins catcher John Buck was reportedly “totally humiliated” during the fifth inning of Tuesday’s game against the New York Mets after completely forgetting the reason why he walked to the pitcher’s mound. “Just give me a second here, it’ll come to me,” Buck was overheard saying before crossing his arms and staring silently into into the distance for several moments. “Something about the runner on second, maybe? Shit, I have no idea. Well, I’ll let you know if I remember what it was, I guess.” Team sources confirmed that Buck immediately recalled what he meant to say as soon as Hudson gave up a home run from an inside fastball on the next pitch.

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