Embarrassed George Lucas Still Just Telling New Wife He Works In Digital Media

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Vol 49 Issue 26

Progressive Charter School Doesn’t Have Students

ATLANTA—One year into its founding as the purported “bold next step in education reform,” administrators on Monday sang the praises of Forest Gates Academy, a progressive new charter school that practices an innovative philosophy of not ...

Government Bans Sugary, Fatty Snacks From Schools

Under the government’s new “Smart Snacks in Schools” guidelines, schools will no longer be allowed to stock vending machines or snack bars with treats exceeding 200 calories or those including trans fats.

Magic Skateboard

PBS 3 p.m. EDT/2 p.m. CDT In this spinoff of The Magic School Bus, Mrs. Frizzle and her class hop on the magic skateboard and try to land a 360 varial inside the principal’s small intestine.

Senate Passes Immigration Reform Bill

With 14 Republicans joining Democrats, the Senate passed a sweeping immigration reform bill yesterday, which would provide a 13-year path to citizenship for the nation’s illegal immigrants, though the bill faces strong opposition from House Republic...
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Embarrassed George Lucas Still Just Telling New Wife He Works In Digital Media

SAN ANSELMO, CA—Following his lavish wedding over the weekend to financial company president Mellody Hobson, a self-conscious George Lucas is reportedly still too embarrassed to tell his new wife exactly what he does for a living, and continues to just say he’s employed in the digital media industry, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Oh, I just do a lot of web stuff, you know, in the digital tech kind of realm—it’s not really all that interesting,” the visibly uncomfortable screenwriter and film director reportedly told Hobson during their wedding reception, before noting that Steven Spielberg, Samuel L. Jackson, and others in attendance were fans of his “work with computers.” “No, I don’t know who Han Solo is. Someone asked you about him? Hmm, I have no idea. Must be some guy who worked at my data-tech company way back. What about your work, though? I love hearing about that. How’s that going?” According to sources, Lucas informed his new wife that Skywalker Ranch, where the two were wed, was named for the property’s previous owner, Carl Skywalker, and was still full of “a bunch of that guy’s old junk.”

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