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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Embarrassed George Lucas Still Just Telling New Wife He Works In Digital Media

SAN ANSELMO, CA—Following his lavish wedding over the weekend to financial company president Mellody Hobson, a self-conscious George Lucas is reportedly still too embarrassed to tell his new wife exactly what he does for a living, and continues to just say he’s employed in the digital media industry, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Oh, I just do a lot of web stuff, you know, in the digital tech kind of realm—it’s not really all that interesting,” the visibly uncomfortable screenwriter and film director reportedly told Hobson during their wedding reception, before noting that Steven Spielberg, Samuel L. Jackson, and others in attendance were fans of his “work with computers.” “No, I don’t know who Han Solo is. Someone asked you about him? Hmm, I have no idea. Must be some guy who worked at my data-tech company way back. What about your work, though? I love hearing about that. How’s that going?” According to sources, Lucas informed his new wife that Skywalker Ranch, where the two were wed, was named for the property’s previous owner, Carl Skywalker, and was still full of “a bunch of that guy’s old junk.”

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