Embarrassed Sony CEO Announces New Video Game System

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Vol 49 Issue 08

Daniel Craig Takes Home Pretty Good Actor Award

LOS ANGELES—As industry insiders had been predicting for weeks, Daniel Craig was a big winner at last night’s 85th Academy Awards ceremony after the 44-year-old actor took home the Pretty Good Actor Award, Hollywood’s highest achievement...

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FOOD 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST Producers had to search high and low for some real idiots to make this show at all interesting, but boy did they find some.
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Embarrassed Sony CEO Announces New Video Game System

'This Is Really Nerdy, I Know,' Executive Says

NEW YORK—Saying he realizes the whole thing is “incredibly nerdy,” embarrassed Sony CEO Kazuo Hirai announced at a press event today that the company would be releasing a new video game system later this year. “Look, I’m sure this all sounds just incredibly dorky, but apparently it’s going to have some pretty cool first-person shooting games on it and maybe some sports stuff too,” said the red-faced Hirai, admitting that while he’s “not personally into this sort of thing,” the device itself actually looks relatively appealing and even has the ability to play Blu-ray and surf the internet. “Apparently, it’s going to be called the Playstation 4, which, again, I know is just super lame, but from what everyone’s been telling me it’s supposed to be pretty cool for being a video game thing, so who knows. It could end up being kind of neat to have around the house. You know, just as a fun, dweeby toy.” Hirai went on to say that Sony was working on a new generation of laptops, but noted that it was something the geekier guys at work know more about.

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