adBlockCheck

Local

Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Employee Slowly Realizes Boss Attempting To Have Normal Conversation With Her

ACWORTH, GA—Taking several minutes to fully process what was occurring, Sinclair Group, Inc. employee Carolyn Belk, 27, slowly and gradually realized this morning that her boss, Doug Fletcher, 48, was attempting to conduct a normal conversation with her. “He came in and asked me how everything was going, and then he started talking about his family’s plans for the holidays and whether I had made plans yet too and I’m thinking ‘Okay, what’s happening here? Where is this going?’” said Belk, who confirmed that it dawned on her only incrementally that Fletcher was not giving her a performance review or assigning her a task or gently reprimanding her for something she had done wrong, but was in fact trying to initiate a casual coworker-to-coworker chat. “It took me a solid five minutes to figure out what was going on, and by that time the conversation was basically over. I pretty much just stared at him.” At press time, Belk was praying that would never, ever happen again.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close