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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Employee Totally Crushes Presentation Of Idea That Will Soon Bankrupt Company

NEW YORK—Receiving a long round of applause from the captivated audience, local business analyst Jacob Hoff reportedly just crushed the presentation of an idea that will soon completely bankrupt his company, sources said Monday. “Wow, Jacob killed it big time,” said Hinter Capital CEO Marshall Webster of the half-hour slideshow outlining a five-point plan that will plunge the once-prestigious firm into massive debt and drag down its stock price by nearly 80 percent within weeks. “Everyone was just blown away, especially by his incredible idea [that will result in the company’s humiliating, highly publicized collapse and cost hundreds of people their livelihood].” At the urging of senior executives, Hoff was at press time preparing to make his mind-blowing presentation to the entire board of trustees.

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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