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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Employee Who Likens Self To TV's 'House' Fired

ALPINE, NJ—Walter Salinger, 38, a U.S postal employee who often compared himself to the cantankerous yet brilliant titular character from the Fox medical drama House, was recently fired for insubordinate behavior, coworkers reported Tuesday. "He was either outright rude to customers or avoided them completely," said letter carrier Lyle Davis, whom Salinger often referred to as one of his "team," even though both men hold the same title. "Walter was a mailman, for Christ's sake. Who cares if 'everyone lies' about parcel dimensions? It's not like he ever saved anyone's life." Though Salinger was generally disliked at his place of employment, station manager Nate Cranston said the branch would continue to make use of the brainstorming whiteboard Salinger brought in to prevent dead letters.

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