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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

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Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

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Employee’s Meteoric Rise Through Company A Testament To Staff Turnover

Pisciotto has surged up the corporate ladder to become Forge Media’s youngest director, an impressive feat colleagues attribute to the firm’s poor employee retention.
Pisciotto has surged up the corporate ladder to become Forge Media’s youngest director, an impressive feat colleagues attribute to the firm’s poor employee retention.

SAN DIEGO—Admiring his rapid advancement from a junior sales position to a management role in an unprecedented six months, sources at Forge Media said Monday that coworker Mark Pisciotto’s meteoric rise through the company is a true testament to its high turnover rate.

Since joining the digital marketing firm last October as a sales associate, Pisciotto, 28, has been successively promoted to client service manager, team leader, and director of client service, a swift ascent that office sources said stood as impressive proof of the large number of vacancies at their workplace.

“If you look at where he started compared to where he is now, you can’t help but think, ‘Wow, a whole lot of people have been leaving,’” said Forge HR director Caroline Moser, marveling at just how much Pisciotto had benefitted from the departure of colleagues in such a short time. “He’s been with us half a year, and he’s zooming up the company ranks like a person who happens to be working here during a period of staff instability.”

“Provided enough people resign, the sky’s the limit for Mark,” Moser added.

In fact, colleagues speculate that Pisciotto is probably on the fast track to regional vice president of accounts, as veteran employees Karen Turnbull and Trevor Wilcox recently left due to their dissatisfaction with Forge’s pay and benefits packages. And if, as many expect, senior vice president Nancy Byers takes an early retirement in the near future, there reportedly will be little stopping Pisciotto from climbing to an executive-level position.

Having moved up the company hierarchy so quickly, sources confirmed that Pisciotto has even earned the respect of the head of the company.

“Mark is a living, breathing example of what you can achieve if you’re still employed somewhere when the people immediately above you have moved on,” said Forge CEO Donald Snider. “He’s just one of those guys who has what it takes to rise through the ranks partially by default at a company that’s been a revolving door for employees as of late.”

“Honestly, it takes a special kind of worker to almost inevitably be promoted due to turnover,” added Snider. “I could definitely see him in this chair someday, especially considering the enticing offers I’ve been receiving from rival firms.”

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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