adBlockCheck

Recent News

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Notable Female Writers Throughout History

Jane Austen died 200 years ago today, but she continues to be widely read and influential to today’s writers. The Onion highlights some of the most notable female authors throughout history.
End Of Section
  • More News

Employee's Multitasking Doesn't Include Work

PHOENIX—Though 27-year-old paralegal Pete Gossling prides himself on his ability to efficiently accomplish numerous tasks at once, none of these activities is actual work, his coworkers said Tuesday. "It's amazing—he'll be carrying on eight IM conversations at once, keep six web browsers open to different YouTube clips, and still be able to forward e-mail after e-mail of jokes from his uncle," said legal secretary Jennifer Paige, adding that when Gossling is out of the office, he uses his PDA to compete in several online poker games simultaneously. "I've never once received a work-related e-mail from him or seen him working on a legal brief, however." Gossling admitted that he often overextends himself so much that work simply isn't possible.

More from this section

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close