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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Employees Still Have No Idea What's Going On After Attending Meeting

BOSTON—The staff of Viacom's regional syndication and licensing division have "absolutely no idea" what is happening with their operations, planning, or corporate structure following their four-hour-long operations, planning, and corporate-restructuring meeting, employees said Monday. "Well, it seems like we are either heading into an 'amazing new era,' or losing our jobs," assistant project coordinator Lisa Morgan said. "Or maybe it's something else altogether. At the very least, I'm fairly sure that this meeting concerned how we operate, plan, and structure our work. I think." Morgan said she hoped some of the finer details of the meeting would be made clear in one of the follow-up meetings on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

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