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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Enchilada Premonition Comes To Pass

BUFFALO, NY—An unaccountable vision of impending enchilada consumption experienced by SUNY-Buffalo student Kris Lamberth came true early Monday evening, according to witnesses. "There we were on the couch," said roommate Corey Bradsher, "when Kris looks right at me and says, 'I have an eerie sense I'm going to eat two Amy's Organic cheese enchiladas. Man, I can almost taste them.'" An hour later, his prophesy was realized. Since the incident, the preternatural Lamberth has attracted the attention of the unsolved-crimes unit of the local police department, who have requested that Lamberth solve the mystery of where they should order their lunch.

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