Entire Basketball Game Rendered Pointless By Last-Second Shot

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Vol 45 Issue 09

Paul Harvey Dead At 90

Legendary radio broadcaster Paul Harvey died of undisclosed causes in Arizona on Saturday. What do you think?

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JUPITER, FL—"I've got dreams a lot bigger than this dump," exotic dancer Nina Meyer explained. "I'm only doing this because there's no way I'll ever achieve them."
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Entire Basketball Game Rendered Pointless By Last-Second Shot

YPSILANTI, MI—A thrilling seesaw battle against Akron was ruined as boorish Eastern Michigan forward Brandon Bowdry mustered the sheer gall necessary to hit a come-from-behind three-pointer at the buzzer, rendering the preceding 39 minutes and 59 seconds moot. "We bust our butts out there for two hours, get a lead, and this punk comes swooping in and hits a prayer from half-court—some nerve he has," said Akron coach Keith Dambrot, who asked that referees check the rule book three times to make sure the shot was legal. Eastern Michigan players seemed similarly upset with Bowdry, throwing their hands up in the air and shaking their heads after the shot went in. One anonymous teammate described the play as poor sportsmanship, complaining that the team had played hard and "was just about to lose fair and square." Immediately after Bowdry's shot scored, the Eastern Michigan crowd erupted in anger, booing Bowdry off the court and demanding their money back for sitting through nearly two meaningless halves of basketball.

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