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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Entire Basketball Game Rendered Pointless By Last-Second Shot

YPSILANTI, MI—A thrilling seesaw battle against Akron was ruined as boorish Eastern Michigan forward Brandon Bowdry mustered the sheer gall necessary to hit a come-from-behind three-pointer at the buzzer, rendering the preceding 39 minutes and 59 seconds moot. "We bust our butts out there for two hours, get a lead, and this punk comes swooping in and hits a prayer from half-court—some nerve he has," said Akron coach Keith Dambrot, who asked that referees check the rule book three times to make sure the shot was legal. Eastern Michigan players seemed similarly upset with Bowdry, throwing their hands up in the air and shaking their heads after the shot went in. One anonymous teammate described the play as poor sportsmanship, complaining that the team had played hard and "was just about to lose fair and square." Immediately after Bowdry's shot scored, the Eastern Michigan crowd erupted in anger, booing Bowdry off the court and demanding their money back for sitting through nearly two meaningless halves of basketball.

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