adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

'Entourage' Fans Doubt Film Adaptation Can Capture Nuances Of Book

LOS ANGELES—Longtime fans of Entourage expressed uncertainty Thursday following reports that the classic tale of ambition and fraternity will be adapted to the silver screen, with fans conveying their doubts that any film adaptation could possibly do justice to the narrative intricacies and rich characterization of John Updike’s acclaimed 1986 novel. “Given the sheer density of the original book, I honestly don’t see how a two-hour movie could even come close to capturing the complex plotting and immense social impact of Updike’s cutting show-business satire,” said Entourage enthusiast Walter Landon, echoing the concerns of millions of bibliophiles worldwide who have, over the years, intently read and reread the 1,200-page PEN/Faulkner Award–winning narrative documenting the shifting fortunes of such timeless literary figures as Vincent Chase, Ari Gold, and Salvatore Assante, known colloquially throughout the novel as “Turtle.” “How will the filmmakers possibly render the pivotal chapter wherein Vince buys E a Maserati? Or the torment experienced by Ari when he is asked to betray his own client? Or the brotherhood evinced in Drama’s collaboration with Andrew Dice Clay in the absorbing text-within-a-text Johnny’s Bananas? I’m sorry, but these are moments that can only really live and breathe on the printed page.” At press time, the nation’s Entourage buffs had reportedly eased their concerns upon learning the film’s producers had recruited a cast and crew befitting the monumental work, including revered thespians Adrian Grenier and Kevin Dillon.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close