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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Environmental Ad Campaign Encourages Turning Shower Off After Showering

WASHINGTON—The Environmental Protection Agency launched a major new ad campaign Monday encouraging people to conserve resources by turning off their showers when they’re not showering. “We estimate that Americans waste up to 20 billion gallons of water each week by leaving their bathrooms with the shower still on, heading off to a full day’s work followed by a full night’s sleep, and then waking up the next morning to step into an already running shower,” administrator Lisa P. Jackson said of the EPA’s advertising effort, which includes TV spots that touts the benefits of turning showers off, such as not having a steamed-over bathroom mirror and not running out of hot water. “Nobody likes the inconvenience of having to manipulate a faucet first thing in the morning, of course, but we want to show people how the pluses of not leaving the water running all the time really can outweigh the negatives.” If the ads are a success, the EPA plans to launch a follow-up campaign in the spring urging people to conserve fuel by turning off their car engines when they return home for the night.

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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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