ER Doctor Secretly Thinks Of Self As Ward's George Clooney

Top Headlines

Recent News

‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Good Times

ER Doctor Secretly Thinks Of Self As Ward's George Clooney

KANSAS CITY, MO—Dr. Andrew Lassiter, a St. Luke's Medical Center emergency-room physician, secretly regards himself as the hospital's real-life equivalent to George Clooney's character on the hit NBC show ER. "He'd never admit it, but Andrew clearly thinks he's St. Luke's answer to Dr. Doug Ross," said triage nurse Paulette Wyndham. "He has this cocky swagger, and whenever women are around, he turns on what he seems to think is some kind of manly, roguish charm." Wyndham added that, with his diminutive stature, beady eyes, and bald head, Lassiter is more like Mercy's Dr. Romano.

Next Story