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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Eric Clapton Wows Audience With Even Slower Version Of ‘Layla’

DULUTH, GA—Debuting yet another arrangement of the classic song Wednesday night, singer-guitarist Eric Clapton reportedly treated a sold-out crowd at the Gwinnett Center to an even slower, somehow mellower acoustic version of his original 1971 hit “Layla.” “When he played those first 45-second-long notes of the opening riff, that was when everyone recognized it as ‘Layla’ and just went nuts,” concertgoer Leslie Friedrich said of the 87-minute rendition, which according to listeners featured three eight-minute choruses and a half-hour jazzy piano interlude before concluding with a lengthy fadeout. “I heard those brushed drums and glacial tempo and my jaw dropped. I was like, ‘Wow, he actually managed to come up with a more lethargic and neutered acoustic jazz-blues version of “Layla” than ever before! How did he pull it off?’” Sources confirmed Clapton followed “Layla” up with a vigorous, electric double-time version of “Tears In Heaven.”

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