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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Eric Trump Leaves Plate Of Seared Foie Gras Outside Bedroom Door Of Despondent Donald Trump Jr.

WASHINGTON—After gently knocking on his brother’s door and insisting he really should eat something, Eric Trump left a plate of seared foie gras outside a despondent Donald Trump Jr.’s bedroom door, sources said Wednesday. “Hey, Donny, you sure you don’t want a little supper?” said Trump, telling his brother that he might be feeling sad, but that didn’t mean he had to go all day on an empty stomach. “It’s got pear puree and beluga caviar, too. We know how much you like that. Okay, how about I just leave this right here, and you can have some anytime you get hungry? And, hey, we saved you a blackberry mousse torte. It’ll be in the fridge whenever you feel like coming down.” Despite insisting he wasn’t hungry and wanted to be left alone, Donald Trump Jr. had at press time opened his door halfway, brought the plate into his room, and quietly closed the door behind him.

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