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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Erik Spoelstra Under Impression Big 3 Will Take Pay Cut To Keep Playing Under Him

MIAMI—As his trio of star players must soon decide whether to stay with the Miami Heat or test free agency, head coach Erik Spoelstra expressed confidence Friday that the team’s “Big Three” of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh would opt to take a pay cut in order to continue playing under him. “It’s about more than the bottom line for these guys—they want to play on a championship team with a championship coach,” Spoelstra told reporters, noting that while James, Wade, and Bosh could theoretically pursue a higher payday with other NBA franchises, only in Miami can they be mentored by a future Hall of Fame coach such as himself. “LeBron, Dwyane, and Chris all understand that playing for me represents an opportunity they’re not going to get anywhere else in this league, and that’s more important than any paycheck. If they stay, it’s because they want a few more rings and the chance to join me in the record books. It’s a pretty clear-cut choice, if you ask me.” Spoelstra added that the Big Three’s decision to remain with the Heat would only be made more attractive by the team’s potential offseason addition of Carmelo Anthony, who, given the caliber of coach he would be playing for, would happily sign for the league minimum.

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