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Politics

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.
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Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs. “Given the increasingly strained relations, the president has decided to make significant changes to his roster of top-level news and commentary shows,” said Spicer, confirming that Meet The Press and Morning Joe were among a number of programs that had forfeited their privileged post at the White House by challenging Trump on several occasions, at one point provoking him to yell for several minutes before storming out of the room. “While President Trump welcomes diverse viewpoints, he does require that the programs he receives counsel from share his vision for his administration and our country—after all, we’re talking about his most trusted advisors.” At press time, Fox & Friends was now reportedly one of President Trump’s most senior confidantes and was even rumored to be taking the lead on briefings while the president listened attentively.

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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