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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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ESPN Draft Butcher Breaks Down 2011 Draft's Top Running Back Into Roasts, Steaks

NEW YORK—In a new segment during Thursday's 2011 NFL Draft broadcast, ESPN draft butcher Donnie Stoeger evaluated running back Mark Ingram by breaking down the Alabama star into rib roasts, filet mignon, T-bone steak, and strip loin. "I really like how this Ingram kid looks—tender, lean, but with good marbling, nice filets," said Stoeger, adding that for a late first-round pick Ingram would definitely provide a team with jaw-dropping cuts of meat. "I'm not impressed with the consistency of Virginia Tech's Ryan Williams, though. He's the kind of back I'd used sparingly for ground chuck. I do think, however, that someone should snag John Clay in the fourth round, put him in the freezer, and thaw him out later in the season when it gets colder and a team wants something hearty and strong to stew up." The ESPN draft butcher later fed host Chris Berman some sausage made from California running back Shane Vereen.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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