adBlockCheck

ESPN Gives On-Air Personalities List Of 6 Pre-Approved Opinions

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

ESPN Gives On-Air Personalities List Of 6 Pre-Approved Opinions

BRISTOL, CT—Following the network’s three-week suspension of analyst Bill Simmons over comments regarding NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, ESPN reportedly sent all on-air personalities a comprehensive list Wednesday of the six pre-approved opinions they may express during broadcasts. “Effective immediately, all on-air talent will be restricted to voicing only the half-dozen sports-related viewpoints officially authorized and endorsed by ESPN,” read the internal company memo, advising all employees to adhere strictly to the new protocol or risk punishment and possible termination. “The network-sanctioned opinions are as follows: 1. The NFL has become a passing league; 2. LeBron James is a great basketball player; 3. The sport of soccer is growing in the United States; 4. Peyton Manning is a future first-ballot Hall of Famer; 5. Rory McIlroy is the new face of golf; 6. The MLB playoffs are incredibly exciting. Thank you for your cooperation.” At press time, ESPN had reportedly revised the list to three opinions after receiving feedback from the NFL front office.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close