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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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ESPN Green-Lights 'The Decision' For 22 More Episodes

BRISTOL, CT—ESPN president George Bodenheimer announced Wednesday that the hour-long program The Decision, a melodrama about NBA superstar LeBron James declaring his intention to join the Miami Heat, has been green-lighted for an additional 22 episodes. "The pilot episode was obviously very gripping, as nearly 10 million people tuned in, but the series is going to have an expanded cast of characters and mostly take place on South Beach," Bodenheimer said. "Viewers will be captivated by how the decision affects LeBron as well as by a number of new decisions he'll have to make every week, like whether or not to save a drowning fan, apply suntan lotion to David Stern's back, or let one of his teammates chase down a loose ball. And don't worry, just like in the original, each episode will feature an hour of LeBron sitting on his stool and answering questions posed by a different guest star." Bodenheimer, who called The Decision daring and innovative, confirmed that either Chris Bosh or Dwyane Wade will likely be killed off in the season finale.

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