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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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ESPN Interrupts Drew Bledsoe's Retirement Speech To Air Commercials

DALLAS— Though ESPN intended to broadcast Drew Bledsoe's entire retirement speech last Wednesday, the sports network cut away from the veteran quarterback's press conference in order to air commercials for electronics retail giant Circuit City, Sprint, and the new Honda Accord. "I have learned a lot in my 14 years in this great league, but the one thing that always stuck with me, no matter how difficult it got out there, was…" said Bledsoe before the network aired the two-minute block of advertisements, after which they cut back to Bledsoe's concluding statement. "…Only wish I could have played a lot better. Thanks." ESPN then interrupted the proceeding question-and-answer session with more commercials from Chrysler, Zip-Car, and, for viewers in the Pittsburgh area, a local commercial for attorney Edgar Snyder.

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