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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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ESPN Now Allowing Second-Year Anchors To Live Off Campus

BRISTOL, CT—Reversing a long-held policy requiring their younger television personalities to reside at the network’s sprawling 123-acre headquarters, ESPN announced Wednesday that second-year anchors will now be allowed to live in approved off-campus housing. “It’s just nice to have a little freedom without having any senior producers breathing down your neck all the time,” said sportscaster Jaymee Sire, adding that while she will miss ESPN’s campus meal plan, she’s excited to get a place with several close friends she met during her first year on the SportsCenter set. “The off-campus apartments are kind of dumpy, but it’ll be great not having so many rules. And this way I can finally have a guy stay overnight without having to worry about signing him in first.” At press time, Sire was excitedly choosing an outfit after receiving an invitation to a big kegger at Ed Werner and Bob Ley’s place.

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